The Volume
One day a man phoned the shop to report a fault on his tv the symptom was said to be no sound (no it wasn't Mr Outram). When I got to the house I went in, turned the television on and rotated the volume control. On it came, perfectly alright. "What did you do?" the man enquired in amazement. "I just turned it on and put the volume up a bit" I told him "Volume!!" he said "Where's that then?" I showed him and he said "Well bloody hell. I've had that set for 10 years and I didn't know that was there".
The Loft
Every now and then I had to spend the day out and about with the boss, but I didn't mind really because he was a good laugh.
One day we went to this television to repair it but it turned out to be the aerial that was faulty. Normally I would have just told them to get the aerial man out and moved on, but not my boss. He said "Oh we'll have a look at it while we're here"
The aerial happened to be in the loft so thankfully the dread of climbing up a damn great long ladder disappeared. Anyway this woman was a very fussy and finicky type so she was insisting on 'shoes off' and 'protective paper all over the carpet' before we started. When we eventually got into the loft (well the boss went in the loft, I just stood on the ladder peering through the hole) she was standing watching every move and generally getting on our nerves, so he started making sarcastic remarks about what thirsty work it was. She eventually got the message and toddled off to make a brew (cup of tea). As soon as she had gone the boss started slagging her off big style. "Silly old bugger " he said, "Why doesn't she get stuffed and let us get on" Whilst all this was being said I was coughing and spluttering in an attempt to shut him up. "What's up with you?" he said then the voice from the bottom of the ladder gently said "Would you like sugar in your tea?" The woman left us to get on from then onwards and I did all the talking.
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The Volume & the Loft
