Richard's Website

I saw all sorts in my time as a tv engineer from 'several week old' piles of dog poo behind the television to video recorders full of loose change posted by the under twos. I also met some interesting characters, like Mr Outram from Grindleford. He was a grand chap I used visit regularly. He only had one ear. The other one being just a hole in the side of his head, so consequently he was very hard of hearing.
One Christmas Eve we had a call to say that the sound had failed on Mr Outram's television which was odd.. So off I set on my rounds leaving him to be the last call of the afternoon.
When I eventually got there I knocked on the door of his flat, but there was no answer, so I opened the door gingerly and shouted "HELLO". There was still no answer, but I could hear the sound of the television at what seemed like full volume coming from the front room. "That's strange" I thought to myself "I thought the fault was no sound" I opened the front room door and there was Mr Outram sat with his back to me on the sofa watching the screen and the volume right to the top. I called again in a fairly loud voice "Hello" I didn't want to make him jump. No Response. Again... "HELLO" really loud this time, still no response, so I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He reeled round in Hysterical panic mode and let out a distressed yell. Then at the same time he realised it was me I noticed that his other ear had gone now so the poor bloke had no ears at all now just a hole either side of his head.
After we'd both calmed down and I managed to explain (goodness knows how I did it) that the television was in fact alright, he proceeded to offer me a small sherry for Christmas. I, of course, excepted and he disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a damn great beaker full of Harvey's Bristol Cream. It was now teatime and the old stomach was somewhat empty so consequently when I got back to the shop I was as drunk as a skunk and had the job of explaining to the boss about what had happened.
I don't thing he believed me until he met the man himself at a later date.